Do You Scream At The Top Of Your Lungs?
There were many years while raising children that it felt like all I did was work and then come home and do kids. Not that there is anything wrong with that. There just was not a whole lot more to life than that.
After the kids went to bed and my better half and I were winding down, we would talk some and perhaps watch T.V. Often, I’d have a couple of glasses of wine or beer. Hopefully after that we’d have a little ‘relations’. Likely not as we were both exhausted.
The weekends were spent cleaning and spending time with the children and usually drinking in the evening. We rarely got away unless we took a ‘vacation’ to a relative’s home. It was very disenchanting overall.
At one point, I decided that I was not happy and it created many problems between her and I. Why? I shouldn’t have been. I was 33 and we had what we wanted; a house with a pool, several cars, a good neighborhood, happy and healthy children, a family that loved us. What more to life is there?
I began to drink more heavily. We separated, and then I got a nearby apartment. I continued to spend a lot of time with the children while we were trying to work out our issues. I just knew I was not happy.
My apartment was small but nice, on a small lake, and right next to the community pool and rec center. I would often walk around the lake or swim, contemplating why I was so unhappy. Was I depressed? Not really. Was I healthy? Yes very. I just felt complete discontent.
On one of my late-night walks, I met my neighbor Joe. He was sitting on his porch, smoking a cigar, drinking a beer, and playing guitar. He invited me over and we hit it off. On Friday evenings, we would often sit and talk, joke, laugh, drink, and I would listen to him play. I found a lot of enjoyment in that, but during the week I did not feel the same way.
One Friday evening I asked Joe to show me a few things on the guitar and asked if I could borrow his guitar for a couple of days as he had several of them. He agreed. The next day I went out and bought a couple of guitar chord books and I spent every evening that week learning chords and checking out online sites like Monrovia Music Academy for more tips and lessons. The following weekend when we got together, I brought the guitar and he was playing ‘Free Bird’ by Lynyrd Skynyrd on one of his other guitars. I asked him to call out the chords as he played them. He was amazed that after one week I could play along with him!
I found that I was a very natural guitar player. Now mind you I come from a very musical family and played the violin as a kid. I also took a few piano and drum lessons. In the weeks that followed, I began writing my own music. Eventually I formed a band that was decent and saw some success.
What I learned from this is that I did not have an outlet. I always loved to write years before but I stopped. I was always so busy. My mind was always cluttered with ‘stuff’ and I didn’t have a chance or make the time to clear it and express myself. Eventually that stuff came out in negative ways.
I don’t claim to be perfect today. Many things have happened in my life since then, but those are writings for another time. TODAY I am trying to ensure that I have an outlet. I write (this blog) and play my guitar. I am more mindful than ever. I am taking time to be respectful to myself and my sanity. If I don’t, who am I good for?
What is your outlet?
JT
P.S. As always, please feel free to reach out to me directly if you have any questions.
If you would like to know more about me, please click HERE. Also tons of resources on my blog.
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Thank you so much! I agree, it is all about the little things.
Thank you for this post. It is a reminder to me to do more hiking! I too often forget how important it is to be away and clear my mind. I shared your post.
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Hello, I read your blog from time to time and really enjoy it. I have a similar blog. Am curious if you get a lot of spam? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can suggest? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any help is very much appreciated. Keep posting and #GoVegan! P.S. I found you on Instagram. Your feed is incredible. Time to check out your recipes.
Awwwww thanks! Do check out my Vegan Recipes….. all are tested and loved! I am not using a plug-in right now for spam. I just delete the spam messages.
I am not sure where you are getting your information, but good info on this topic. I needs to spend some more time learning and understanding mindfulness and figuring out my outlet. Thanks for the information. I will be checking back in again.
Great article, exactly what I needed.
Thank you Todd. I try to inspire others with my posts.
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This actually is a basic WordPress theme. I got creative with plugins and work hard to keep the content fresh.
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